MONUMASS July 20 - August 10, 2013

TWO DIARIES OF THE SAME EVENT ARE TWO DIARIES - shown at Violet Strays Feb 13-26 2015


Day 1: 6 am. 15 min install shazaam. An available crowd ate donuts, followed by an unforeseen Native blessing by a homeless drunk man. We circled back after brunch. One of the people we fist-bumped in the morning was draped over a police car. He was apparently causing trouble and "dry humping" the sculpture.
Day 3: 6:30 am. Several foreign tourists are rubbing the stone when I approach. I ask what they are doing. "Rubbing it for luck."

Day 5: 6:30 am. A Kenneth Cole belt buckle fragment has been left. Trash? An offering? Stone has been turned 90 degrees after a homeless sanctioned-sleep-in-the-park-rally-type event. A homeless man tells me that "a group" felt it should be oriented North. While I consider the implications of my now non-urethane adhered sculpture, he sets down the books he is holding and lights a joint. On top of the book pile, James Frey's 1 Million Little Pieces. I achieve a life-long goal, feeling like I am actually *in* an Almodovar movie. He leaves. I quickly turn the stone back to its original orientation and flee on my bike, running every possible red light getting out of downtown.

Day 6: 6:30am. Stone remains in *my* orientation. Meet homeless man originally from Kyrgyzstan w/ an Irish accent. He is covered with scabies. He sees the sculpture as a "man trapped within himself." With his hair and bone-structure, he could have easily be mistaken for a Kenneth Cole model. He is pretty sure that he will die soon, likely in the park. 9am news: MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS: MAN SENT TO TRAUMA CENTER.

Day 7. Record a list of public viewing behaviors seen to date:
THE CHILDREN'S LEMONADE STAND: Viewer moves past sculpture with averted gaze and intentional gait
THE BILBO BAGGINS: Viewer ignores everything in the park to take the same picture of the Ferris wheel
THE ASS SLAP: Any acknowledgement by a male in a team jersey
THE BEN GAY: Any stretching involving the object
THE DERMATOLOGIST: Anyone taking macro photos
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER: Any conversation that begins or ends with whether it is a rock or a stone
THE BEN JOHNSON: Any drug transaction that completes within 10 sec of touching the work
THE ROBERT IRWIN: Any viewer that considers the object and siting implications for greater than 10 sec
THE GENGHIS KHAN: A parent being mean to their kids within 10 feet of the sculpture
THE CHAKA KHAN: Not sure this has happened
THE REST STOP: Anything put on the work for < 1minute: phone, coffee cup, elbow
THE TAJ MAHAL: Anything left on the sculpture that might not be trash
THE BABY RUTH: Please see Caddyshack if you have questions
THE HITCHCOCK: Anyone stabbed within the vicinity of the sculpture
THE BARRY/BETTY WHITE: Any viewer that touches the sculpture in a way that it wants to be touched

Day 10: 7am. Lengthy conversation with Ed, my new friend who has a full head tattoo. He shows me a guitar that is covered with 100's of famous axe men/women cutouts. Then he drops a range of important points:

1. A large head tattoo is cheaper/more effective than therapy for anger-management.
2. Yngwie Malmsteen has a potty mouth.
3. You may need some very smart people to put a vaporizer together.
4. If you are a famous person and you give Ed your guitar to hold, he's gonna play it.
5. Guitars made of solid Corian are sonically amazing but ridiculously heavy (two times Les Paul).
6. Clear-coat epoxy makes everything seem special.
7. The sound holes in most instruments are a lost opportunity.
8. Making a unique pipe to match a custom guitar is a good business model, for a while.
9. The shapes you get when making pipes are very similar to my sculpture.
10. There are men's dates-n-numbers and women's dates-n-numbers.
11. Your wife/partner will make fun of you when you are passed out cold for days in your own vomit. Then they will leave you.
12. Once your family is gone, you find out what a stupid fuck you are.
13. After you live in a dark room full of guitar pieces you rethink your daily Jager 50oz, 16 beer, 80$/day pot habit. Then you move on to heroin/crack.
14. After you have woken in 40 cities with someone else's puke on your clothes, being sober seems like a good goal.
15. Manic depression is not a state of mind that is helped by San Francisco.
16. A Rainbow Gathering can save your life, but only if you stay for the entire cleanup.
17. Android phones are the way to go. Also, Verizon is not as good as T-mobile.
18. When taking people out on soon-to-expire food stamps it is best if you can do it "top-shelf."
19. Weed pockets must be buttoned else weed can sometimes take flight.
20. Children sometimes make over-the-top calendars to help parents remember birthdays.

Day 12: Friend visits park. The word FAIL is written in chalk next to the sculpture. NOT as good as a Yelp review.

Day 14: 10pm. Security guy thinks my next installation should involve a six pack of beer placed in the middle of the park.

Day 16: 7pm. At least 10 people ask me what kind of pot/ice/blow I have for sale despite standing next to a video camera. Other highlights: snake, Sierra Mist, peace pipe, wheelie-dude, aggressive can thrower, face spitting.

Day 17: 6:30pm. More video. Hang out nearing Cheech till I meet some angry natives full of Chong. As I leave, a park resident tells me the Elders *respect* the work.

Day 19: Friends visit park, one reports seeing many wallets, purses, and shoes in a pile by a trash can.

Day 21: Crane comes, 5 minutes later it is gone. Two guys come up and shake my hand. I feel almost nothing.